Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
