I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
