Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
