I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
