I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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