he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
