How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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