I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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