it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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