So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize