did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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