three words: i give head
three words: not that well
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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