i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize