Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
