So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
