U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
