Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
