I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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