Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
