Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We have started to decorate penises.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
