Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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