if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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