dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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