No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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