he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
