I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
