the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
are you so shy because you have an std?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
