my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
