I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
