you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
