Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize