Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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