Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
