I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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