so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
