she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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