you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
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Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
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I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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