if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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