Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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