dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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