thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm having to shit out rocks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I did not marry a roomba.
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