I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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