I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
