it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize