i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I will be naked everywhere
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
