We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
