check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
