I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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