"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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