Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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