Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
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I have so many feelings about this burrito
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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