Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
