Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
