i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
