Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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