we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
handjob tips. give me some.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
