Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
